Visionary Philosopher. ♥

2.42am.

Just needed to type it all out once & for all. It just suddenly happened to strike me in the head.
Having the longest shower of my life, I was practically half asleep in the bathroom.

1hour standing at the very same spot. I felt a little thinking, not 100% but at least a little bit.
I'm getting too frustrated with all this emotionally problems I'm going throught currently.
Its making me very fedup.

I can't get my thinking straight. My life, my future. Thou I'm only 18, but its closing near
the ' Welcome to the Working World '
With all this emotionally problems, I can't concentrate much in class, my future is
just pouring all over the drain. The pressure is rising while the relaxation is decreasing.
Turn back the clock & I wish I was just taking my PSLE 6years back.

I don't know why am I feeling so emotionally unstable after all this fucked up
relationship problems. I didn't knew it would be such a big blow towards my life.
Weeks have passed, we both went our sperate ways.

I can't forget her totally, its hard, because it was my 1st? The things
she do are totally fucked up. Childish & naive little playgirl who toyed my feeling
like a basketball.

Words spoken by her are way to sarcastic & not to forget hurtful. Couldn't imagine
girls could have this kind fucked up mouth with pathetic words coming out of it.
Jealousy when was told by friends about she & her ' oh, we're just maple, I won't bring it to reality ' ?
Afraid not, I'm okay with that little playgirl's life, I just can't stand the fact that someone
actually treated me like a bloody clown, & took my trust for granted.
That was what really pissed me off. If she wanna go. Go.
She aint the only girl in this world. Just don't talk when you know your little fucking heart can't do it.

' I told myself I will love you whole-heartedly if we ever get back together '

Put it so nicely. After which, its back to square one. Arrogant little playgirl.
I seriously hate you. I don't hate you for leaving, I hate you for lying.
You can fuck off from my life totally. I don't mind. Take your lies with you too.
Stop ruining my fucking life for goodness sake. I don't wanna ruin my future over a flirt.

1st experiment.
2nd precaution.

I lost all hopes in finding what I always wanna be in.
Long term relationship isn't a easy thing to be found just like that.
Losing my confidence. I need someone to boost my morale up.
Lets hope that someone will be the one I can fully trust.

I AM MR. HAN ZHI :D

2:50 AM