Visionary Philosopher. ♥

2days away from shopping!

Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm blogging at this kind of hour.
I'm just damn bored doing nothing.

Just finished DotA. Maple is getting more & more boring.
Won't be logining in often though. x)

WELL anyway, today wasn't a very bad day.
Woke up late for school, as usual.
Off my alarm clock at 8am because it was disturbing my beauty sleep.
When my eyes opened, it was 9.30am.

Oh my, late for class. Though of giving it a skip.
But to prove to all those noobs out there!
I'm a good boy (:
Took a slow walk to class.
Smoke, tie my tail & hide my side burn to avoid those barking
from my class adviser.

Got sited in class at 10am.
Was surprised that I wasn't the only one late for class.
Did some work I owe my teacher.

2 papers before the slacking started.
Listen to my ipod & daydream like I always do. wahaha.
Saw my friends! Those in group 2.

Quickly went to next door to their class to chat with them.
Not long before 12noon. Walked to canteen to grab a bite & a cup of watermelon juice!
Saw alot of new faces. Juniors.

Typical secondary school like thinking. Their hair was a bomb.
Slope, shaved side burn, can't stop laughing.

Headed to the stadium in school. Avoiding the DM.
Seat down at a table, watch those dark meat playing soccer.
Smoking in school. ' Fierce siak '

Haha, the sun was burning my sensitive skin.
Can't take it anymore. Decided to skip afternoon's lesson. x)
Went home for a shower at 1pm.
But overall, school was quite fun, despite those boring-ness
I'm going through with my old group of friends.
We just got nothing more in common to chat about.

Played DotA all the way till now. Haha. Life-less.
Who cares, what can I do on a weekday.

Don't know whats going on with me, but I just can't wait till Labour day.
Gonna ask my mom to accompany to marina square to pay all my bills.

Saw a pants that caught my attention in Zara Men.
Just hope its still available.
Besides that, theres more to shop!
Being quite awhile since I last shopped.
Gonna get some new tops, jeans, shoes.

Till then.
There's nothing else to blog.

I AM MR. HAN ZHI :D

6:32 PM

Mr Woon Mong Tee,
Course Manager.

is a fucking bastard.
a no good motherless dog.
who kisses the director's ass.
lich his shoes like a fucking pain in the neck.

his face is disgusting.
irritating.
annoying.
frustrating.
screwed up.

i wish i could just burn that mother fucker's house.
let him die like a bitch he is.

maybe i won't elaborate that much.
but his just simply a jackass.

I AM MR. HAN ZHI :D

1:18 AM

Trying to seriously figure out what is wrong with my timing & brain right now.
Was used to waking up on time for school in the past.

Well, during Pri 1 till Sec 4 of course.
The sense in my brain always give me that thinking to wake up
when I overslept.

But now, a year & a half passed. Spending my time in ITE is good.
Then again, the sense of lateness just can't get me up.
Maybe because I know its okay to skip a lesson or 2.
Due to my laziness.

Pathetic, but then again, brain do wonders.
I really wanna change that mindset around.
I wanna go to school & be a good boy!

I wanna get my certificate.
School was very slack today. Maybe the teacher is lousy? Some may say.
But I don't think he is. He makes the lesson very interesting.
Maybe thats why I only have a full 101% attendance with him.

After an hour in class, he was talking about business & future.
Was quite a topic he choose though.

& after a 30mins of thinking in class while the teacher himself
was slacking.

A sudden thought came rushing through my brain & I really agree to myself.
That's life,
Working, getting good pay is one thing.
Being a boss or employee, it has the same principal.

In the working world, money isn't everything.
But being generous is one thing.
Thoughts of if you're pay is average, but your boss just treat you
very well.
Giving bonus to you or whatever so within months or per year
is better then having a double pay with the new boss ranting & ranting
over you like as if you're his living animal.

10years with the similar boss. He treats you well.
1 year with a different boss, He treats you like dirt.

I'll prefer the 1st. After working so long, he gain your trust, so do you.
Some may say, money changes oneself personality.
No doubt its true.

But friendship is one thing that money can't buy.

Planning too far ahead? Perhaps.
But I just hope to get a good boss in future when I moved on
to the working world.

Stable pay for a car is all I ask for right now. (:
All priority has been drafted & re-arrange.
But friendship will always be ahead of money, that's for sure.
I'm trying very hard to remove those love life away till I think its worth having.

I have no right to judge others.
To those who I judged in the past, my sincere apology.

I'll learn to love, judge & take good care of myself before
I have the right to do so to another person.
But currently, I just need to love myself.
Drafting far away from friends.

Attempt suicide was stupid. I must say.
I won't elaborate. For me to know, that's all. (:

I AM MR. HAN ZHI :D

1:08 AM

how does it feel like
when you're dropping from a 12th story HDB?

anyone care to join me in this experiment?

I AM MR. HAN ZHI :D

2:30 AM

Rating the numbers of happening & unexpected experience in life.

When a girl looked at you with glazing eyes.
- she's having a little interest in you.

When she talks with you with a happy tone & a naturally sweet smile.
- she's enjoying the time spent with you.

She can't wait to see you again during the next outing.
- she's having the time of her life being with you/your group.

She shows you a moody & boring face.
- quickly find a topic to change the attitude the other way round.

Replying to your every message with a sense of enthu.
- never wanna stop the conversation.

Shows you a black face after a question spoken out wrongly.
- apologize & be sophisticated.

Feels lonely & unwanted with your group of friends.
- introduce your friends to her, make her feel easy & comfortable with your friends.

Rejects your present.
- she enjoy those moments with you, not for the gifts, but for the memories.

Replying single word message to you.
- bored & irritated by you.

Talk to you with a sunken face.
- getting bored of your jokes/theory.

Some claim that Singapore's government are protecting the ladies
from getting hurt or harm by the opposite sex.
That's the advantage ladies have in Singapore.

Unfair to the guys, so they may say.

But sometimes, if you would use your brain to think a little more.
Not too far, ladies don't expect much from you.
Obviously, an apology is a must, following up is your smile.
That's guys' advantage.

Ladies are sensitive, no doubt about that.
Some guys look so fucked up with their background,
but every one has that soft spot in them to always make the girl
they love smile no matter what.

What's yours will be yours,
whats not yours, let it go.

Rejections are sure hard to take.

Either she's really not into you,
or she's just waiting for you to impress her more.
Its a simple logic.

Well, unless you're damn dumb to see what kind of signs she's showing you.
I can't complain much then.

Rejected party : Love can slowly build up.
Reject party : Love can't be forced.

Love can't be forced, true.
Love can slowly be build up, fuck off.
Too much dramas is unhealthy.

No means no, unless like I said, she's waiting for more surprises from you.
Why be noble knowing you don't wanna be with him.
Friends telling you, ' he/she so good towards you '
Because of those words of ' encouragement '
you wanna waste your time & hurt the other party.

It hurts sometimes when you're waiting for that simple little message
from her.
But its just a crush, which you don't wanna get yourself involve with.
Patience..

she will be there.. soon, very soon..

Today.

Was the day, when she shock me back to reality.
Don't waste your time trying to figure out who was it. (;
Well, I'm finally turning those sub-conscious around.
During those days early in year 2008. Going to school was like a torture.
Recently, skipped 1st 2 days of class was making me pissed off.
I'm like so damn bored at home.

I used to have the mindset of boringness when I'm in school.
That's the problem with me not attending school.
But its the sub-conscious that kept me moving on.
Though its still fucking boring in school, I tried to
be happy with what I'm doing & it really works.
Well, for me.
For you, I can't be bothered though. (;

School's great, but due to those times I skipped class.
Those common things I have with my friends are all fading.
When they talk, I go blank.
When I talk, they snore. -_-'

Its high time for me to get back into my clique soon!
Otherwise, my life is as good as gone!

Toodies Benzona~ x)

I AM MR. HAN ZHI :D

1:52 AM

Saturday's Post!
Nothing much happened on Sunday.
So, yeah. x)

After 3 weeks of pathetic holiday at home.
Decided to call 2-3 friends out for a movie at the usual place.

Went to had a haircut at noon.
Took lunch at home, chill alittle before preparing
myself.

Left house at 4pm or so.
Met Toh at block 104, headed to the bus stop.
Caught up with Randy in the bus.

Was expecting a better outing though, but..
As time past, people changed.
So, what much can be done.
Linnie met up with us at 6pm.

Before taking a slow walk to Cathay to get a movie.
Street Kings. 7.30pm

7pm. Sat down outside Cathay before the movie starts.
Chatted alittle bit with linnie about stuffs.
Wasn't feeling too good when we had that conversation.
More or less about our future I guess,
what are we to do after my National Service & her studies.

Paused for a moment. Stressed up.
Considering to take up MDIS business course after my
NS is over.
Then again, waste 2years of working 'probation'
It's time to put everything behind & start preparing for the future.

How time flies.
The next moment, NS will be over. Looking through newspaper, for a job.

Thought about food industry.
Good money, but the hard work is really stressful.
35k per month.

After reducing worker's pay, rental, & stuffs.
Earning will be around 15k.
I was like WOW!

But, imagine those hard works you have to go through.
6am daily. Marketing.
Till late nights at 10pm.
6days a week.

Rich, but then again, don't have the time to spend the money. x(

Business, low pay. 5days a week. Fixed time.
Perhaps...

Some said I think too far.
Am I? or am I just preparing for my future?

Maybe I should start a part-time job soon.
Just a little more working experience before going to
the 'Cruel World'....

I AM MR. HAN ZHI :D

11:43 PM

Ever wondered why some people shed tears easily &
why some feel the same but just can't shed those tears?

Well, I do, but my dad doesn't.
Repeated this music due to the past I had with great friends.

Every single song brings me a little sweet memory.
This song just came into my mind 4hours back
when I was catching a movie with my lifetime friend, toh.

Knew him almost my WHOLE life.
1st friend I was really close to & also what we call
'True friends'

I had many friends during my younger days.
This song just reminds me of the time spend with my
Indonesia friends 4years back & those times I was super close with my
cousins. (:
How time flies.

Daily lifestyle with them during holidays were..
hmm, how do I put it.
Almost every hour we're together.

& when school days. Its slightly abit more fun. :D
Skip school together, hang around at Shaw Plaza,
(where I caught a movie earlier on)
till my dad & mom leaves home for work before going to my place
to slack.

Fridays were our moments together.
Memories with Indonesia friends on a Friday are priceless,
not to forget, unforgettable.
Slack by the poolside was our way of life.
& of course. Drinks, like duh. Beer & stuffs, usual stuffs.

It was the 1st time I cried in the cinema
upon reminiscing on the past with them.

WELL, they're all gone, ain't coming back, that's for sure.

As people grow older, they get to know more friends,
sense of maturity increases.
But its the other way round for me.
Friends are getting lesser & lesser.
Due to the boredom I'm having at home daily is screwing up my mind.
I tent to get naive at times.
But, who cares. x)

A girl called, maybe she's helping me to get over my pathetic life
by offering me a part time job.
Still considering though.

Argh, screw this shit. TURN BACK TIME PLEASE!
I miss my childhood moments. I seriously do.
Give up everything I have now in exchange for my friends back.
Who will grant me that?

In return, I'll be your slave!

It's so easy to push it all out,
but so hard to let it all go.
Both teachers & students stand side by side
from start to end, & only get separated when
both walks into a different path.

Its always hard to choose.
Making choices doesn't mean there's no turning back.
Between those choices, good & bad is happening around.
How to face it comes back to yourself.
Be brave, be strong.

Make the choice before the choice makes you.

My bad for this path.
Therefore, learning take places.
Glad, yet disappointed.
All the learning just leads back to square one.
Fuck yourself & die alright?

I AM MR. HAN ZHI :D

3:36 AM

School reopens!

Skipped Monday & Tuesday's lesson.
Was only till last night.

At 1.23am, was glazing outside the window,
beautiful sight for once.
A full moon. & while smoking.

Sudden thoughts of what am I to do after National Service
kept me standing there for 45mins.

What can I do with a pathetic 'N' level certificate.
Though ITE's life is not so tough, but yet I choose to
skip lessons.

My dream was just to lead a normal life with my 'wife'
which is my car.
Its being my dream all along to drive my own sweet car.
But my current status is so screwed up.
I seriously need to reconsider taking up further studies.
Then again, what am I to do after National Service.

Current status in ITE isn't good.
My marks are nothing but disappointment.
How many times did I told myself to change, but I'm still the same.
Gees, I don't know when is the day when my mind is turned to the
correct direction.

Perhaps, it a little too late. But still, I'm gonna preserver.
My motivation was given from my tuition teacher once again.
Her letter given to me on my birthday was nothing but full of inspiration.
Maybe she is just lying, but little did I know, her lies kept me going.

Come to think of it, she's always there for me when I fall.
Though advice is what we asked for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
Day by day, I crawl to her for advice.

Aww, this is such a screwed up post.
Won't go further.
Toodies!

I AM MR. HAN ZHI :D

8:35 PM

I'm damn lazy to blog....

I AM MR. HAN ZHI :D

4:20 AM

How often do your friends dial you on the cell
& telling you ' I'm in love with someone '

& by the way, those readers reading this right now,
if you find it very irritating or very fucked up.
Just close this website. (:
Its not for you to read too.

Continue, Without knowing what do they mean by 'love'
they give you a simple ridiculous sentence
like what people are using right now.

' I can't explain love '

Though its true that some feelings towards another person
is unexplainable.
But you gotta least have a simple reason for having that kind of feeling towards
him/her.

This so call 'Love' has being misused by younger generation.
From crush to love.
& to whoever the idiot that created the word 'stead'.
I don't know which part of a relationship between a male & a female
was ever known as 'stead'.

When one -L-over makes that move, the relationship between
each other is over.
You cry, you cut yourself like a bitch you are.
& then being influence by friends who often have past relationship failure.
You tent to follow their footsteps & whatever rubbish sentimental
'proposal' they given to you.

Its seriously nothing but rubbish.
If oneself was able to have that kind of feeling towards another person.
Don't push your luck too much.

Examples of lovely couples are all around.
You don't see weeks of friendship turning into fantasy lovers do you?

' I seen some '
Yes. How long?
2years? 4years?

Have your fun, before you get dump.
It applies to everyone. Not only teenagers.
Complain, whine, emotionally stress-out ain't gonna help.

' I'll make full use of my life from today '
Who can't say this?
But who are the true people who mean what they said.

Life is unpredictable.
Who knows, you might just fall dead on the ground on
the following day.

Putting down the past is possible.
Forgetting the person is likely a diffcult task.

By accomplishing what you think is possible.
Will only bring you further in life.
Ranting about ' Oh, his/she's one person who I will NEVER forget '
Check the dictionary & find out the true meaning of ' Never '

I hate to see friends ranting about this bullshit feelings over & over & over again.
In the past, I don't deny, I was one of them.
But, c'mon. Face it.
Turn yourself another way, face reality.

Living in fear with that sentiment of losing faith in the opposite sex
is nevertheless. Agreeable.
Then again, single for life?
Just because of a past mistake?
Throw you future into the drain because of that guy/girl?
Be a good for nothing piece of crap crying by the roadside daily, ranting about the pass?

Some may pity you, some will just laugh their ass off over how silly you are.
To those who think I don't know anything about forgetting the one you loved once.
Be it.
I don't wish to join your emotional group of losers ranting
at the void deck sharing tissue papers.

& to friends, though some word was used harshly in this post.
I don't mean any harm.
Just a message to wake you up.
5million people.
Its IMPOSSIBLE to not find TRUE love.

P.S Jos, wake up. (:

ta bu zhe de ni de ai

I AM MR. HAN ZHI :D

2:34 AM

Monday's post.

8th April, didn't know time passed so fast.
Last week of holiday before school reopens.

Too much thinking makes the time passed faster
instead of the opposite. *Sigh*

Back from my recent weekly slacking alone
below my block nearby my house so call 'stadium'
Its a good way to release the stress I'm currently
facing.
Bought a small little bottle of liquor which cost me
$15 bucks.
It was the 1st time I drunk it purely, together with a packet of
cigarettes within 1hour.
Shocked when I open my packet & saw zero sticks left inside it.
Reminisce of the past as I sat there looking at those kids
making their way to the bus stop, making their way to school.
Sweet moments, if only I had treasure those times during pri/secondary school.

2 pure weeks of rotting at home.
I hope this saturday wouldn't be the same.
I miss my friends.
Miss those times I hang out with them.
Even though it was a simple outing, but I just like the bonding between us.
I wanna turn back time before my birthday. I seriously do.
It was the last I met up with all of them.
Some moved on with life with their classmates,
some got married,
some just went missing without a word.

Was caught in a dilemma till I though of the joke that my father's friend
send to him eariler in the evening.
I couldn't stop laughing to myself upon thinking about the conversation through the phone.
I'm sorry I don't have the voice record! >.<
But the conversation was like this...

An Arab being interviewed at the US embassy.

Consul : Your name please?
Arab : Abdul Aziz.
Consul : Sex?
Arab : Six times a week.
Consul : I mean, "male" or "female"
Arab : Both male & female, sometimes even camels.
Consul : Holy cow!?
Arab : Yes, cows & dogs too.
Consul : Man, isn't that hostile?
Arab : Horse style, dog style, any style!
Consul : *tsk* Oh dear.
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast.

Oh my fucking gosh, I can't stop laughing upon
writing this down.
It just crack me up badly. Well, for me though x)

....

I AM MR. HAN ZHI :D

3:55 AM

Truth or Lies?

Does any of this 2 factors bond the relationship?

It was the date where both met up together at a restaurant nearby,
love at first sight makes oneself nervous & anxious.

They placed their orders together after a tough time
thinking about what will the conversation be once
the order as being place.

10minutes after placing their orders.
Both sat there speechless till a waiter came over to
asked the man if he would like coffee or tea.

Man replied : Coffee with salt please.

Stared with wondering eyes around him, he stayed claim.
Shocked & curious over why he wants coffee with salt
instead of sugar.

Woman replied : Why are you so strange? Whats with salt & coffee?
Man : Salt reminds me of my childhood when I was living back home by the seaside,
the taste of salt reminds me of the time I spend with my parents during
surfing.

Woman : You must have miss your home very deeply.
Man : Yes I do. But not as much as I would miss if I had skip this dinner with you.

She blushed for a moment.

After a hour at the restaurant, they decided to make a move.

A year passed, both man & woman fell in love with each other
before getting married.
& every morning without fail, his wife will always
make coffee with salt added for her husband so much so that
he would always remember about his childhood 20years back.

He drinks the coffee with a smile on his face
every time he looked into the eyes of his beloved wife.

After 10 years passed, her husband met up with an accident
that leads him not further from death.
On the day he left his beloved wife, he wrote a note saying..

' I'm sorry I lied to you for the past 20years,
on the very 1st day I saw you at the restaurant, I fell deeply in love with you.
I was so nervous on that day that I ordered coffee with salt instead of sugar.
every time when you made that coffee for me in the morning, I drank it
with a struggle, but I told myself that this coffee is worth drinking,
because you're all I ever wanna be with. That coffee is the symbol of me love
for you. Please forgive me for lying to you about my past at the seaside &
all this years.
I love you, my wife, my life. '

Mend the lies,
only truth love will forgive what you done.
Avoid repeating it.

.....

I AM MR. HAN ZHI :D

5:56 AM

Thursday.

Woke up after a 2hours of nap before training.
In between training, eyes were falling.
Ask 'sister' to help train abit while I went to take another short nap.
Training is seriously corrupting my sleeping time.

Well anyway, before I hit the beds.
Friend message me in MSN to ask if I was available to help
out with his interview for his project.

Was very actually a semi-survey about
couples at the age of 14-19 & 20-above.
Well, here goes nothings.

1st ) Have you being in any relationship?
Yeah.

2nd ) Was it a good experience? Why?
Both good & bad.
You learn to open up to your surrounding
& learning from the mistakes.

3rd ) Did whatever happened between you & him/her affect your daily lifestyle? Why?
Yes, only after a serious relationship, oneself become mature.
& understanding of each other.
You learn to let go of everything & start afresh.

4th ) Are you still in a relationship? Why?
No, misunderstanding occur & therefore,
the other party sees no reason to continue being together.

5th ) Any 2nd thoughts of getting back with you old fame? Why?
No, once bitten, twice shy.
There's a reason for what is happening now.
& I see no point in getting back after what was clearly said.

6th ) Any happy moments together before/now?
Yes, every time spend was precise.

7th ) What went wrong during the breakdown? Why?
Lack of communication & trust.
Overwhelming protective attitude leads both to a point
where both party couldn't take it no more.

8th ) Feelings towards him/her after the breakdown?
Nothing much left.

9th ) Having anyone you wish to be with now since the last?
Yes

10th ) Thoughts of being with him/her? Why?
Maybe, it takes 2 hand to clap. (;

11th ) Which of the age gaps will you prefer your boyfriend/girlfriend to be? 14-19/ 19- above? Why?
19-above, their mindset is there.
Maturity is much older & obviously understanding is better
compared to the younger generation.

12th ) If you were to choose who to save during an unexpected accident.
Which will you go for? New girl or your old fame?
Haas, I'll save the old fame & join the new girl together in death. (;

13th ) What will you do if something happened to you girlfriend/boyfriend that resorts to being punch/slap by the other party?
I'll slash that mother fucker who slapped my girl.

14th ) What are your goals on? Why?
To let everything fall in place.
Rushing through a relationship won't last but lust.

15th ) Will you want the person you wish to be with changed to a better person to suit your character/personality? Why?
No, I love her for who she is. Not loving her for what she would try to become.

16th ) Why is it important for you to find someone you love to be together with you?
Life isn't complete without someone you love beside you. (;

17th ) If rejected, what are your plans?
Stay strong & continue to wait.

18th ) If accepted, what are your plans?
(; to cherish every single time I have with her.

19th ) Are you willing to waste money just to get your goals?
Yes & No, once in awhile, paying for the one I love, I won't mind.
On the other hand, love me for who I am, & not what I can give.

20th ) How much confidence do you have in yourself currently to be with him/her? Why?
0%, We just hardly talk to each other no more.

21th ) When was the last message received from him/her?
18th March.

:x

Its about all.
Short survey yet, having a difficult time trying to reply
to the questions! x(

I AM MR. HAN ZHI :D

5:01 AM